Ep. 3 orla neff
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Episode summary
Join Orla as she shares her story of re-evaluating her home and lifestyle. Initially, they built a two-story dream house on a smaller block with a volume builder. However, as life changed, it became clear they needed a different approach.
Initial Plans and Frustrations
Orla and her partner initially planned to build a larger home with a focus on entertaining family. However, after having a baby, they realised their existing house was no longer suitable for their growing family.
Considering a Renovation
They explored the option of renovating but found the cost and disruption to be significant. Orla's conversation with Sam led her to reconsider her priorities and the potential benefits of their current home.
A Shift in Perspective
Orla realized that focusing on the limitations of their house was hindering their enjoyment of it. She shifted her perspective to appreciate the positives of their location and lifestyle.
Lessons Learned
Prioritize family needs: Orla realized that a smaller house was compatible with their family's lifestyle and allowed for more quality time together.
Consider the emotional impact: Building can be stressful and emotionally draining. Orla learned to step back and assess her emotions during the process.
Embrace the present: Instead of focusing on future goals, Orla learned to appreciate her current situation and make the most of her living space.
Advice for New Builders
Understand your priorities: Clearly define what you want from your home and prioritize your needs.
Consider long-term goals: Think about how your lifestyle might change in the future and plan accordingly.
Don't be afraid to reassess: Be open to changing your plans as circumstances evolve.
Conclusion
Orla's story highlights the importance of flexibility and adaptability in the building process. By shifting her perspective and focusing on what truly mattered to her, she was able to create a fulfilling home for her family.
transcript
[00:00:00] Orla: I was just frustrated at the space. I was frustrated that our lives had changed so much because of this little individual. And yeah, I think it was more, when I look back on it now, it was more that, and it wasn't until I took myself out of that emotionally driven situation that I was able to actually say, well, hang on a second, it's, it's not as bad as what you're making out.
[00:00:25] Intro: Building involves more than just personal style. It's about budget, functionality, working with your specific site, and making sure your home seamlessly integrates into your life. I'm Sam Payne, and welcome to Australian Build Stories. Join me as we chat with real people who have embarked on their own building journey.
We'll explore their highs, lows, and valuable lessons they learned along the way. Australian Build Stories. Building knowledge, one story at a time.
[00:00:57] Sam: In today's episode, all the shares with us. Her journey on building a home for her and her partner. But then having a baby and trying to get that house to work with you.
So on this one, I did spend a bit of time helping. All that. And Pete. Work out what was the right move for them? Because at one point they're looking at doing. I renovation. And the more I looked at it, we worked out that. Maybe that wasn't, wasn't the right idea for them. So I hope you enjoy today's episode. Uh, this episode is proudly sponsored by home based design and build center. Australia's largest building and renovation. Destination.
[00:01:36] Orla: So when the block came up from sale, I immediately jumped on it. And we were just lucky enough to get it.
All of our friends were buying out in Hammond Park and, Atwell the 4x2 with the pool. And we had looked at possibly
doing
that.
It just wasn't, we just got that feel that it wasn't for us. We wanted a place that was low maintenance. A big driving factor with this build was that we weren't going to have children. So we had made that decision that we were in the no kid basket.
[00:02:07] Sam: Yep.
[00:02:08] Orla: what kind of lifestyle do we want to, do we want to live? And ours was very heavily travelling, We just wanted to be near the ocean. so with that we thought, yep, lock up and leave, like something that we can easily maintain. We wanted to be in that kind of inner city living with that cool vibe. So we didn't want to be spending our weekends doing maintenance on gardens. And And, South Freo hadn't blown up as much as what it is now.
[00:02:37] Sam: always had that walkability aspect um, you From,
you can walk down to the
[00:02:42] Orla: Yes. There's always
[00:02:43] Sam: there's always been restaurants and things in the area. Whereas Hammond Park and Atwell, because they're new suburbs.
You're always hopping the car and driving.
[00:02:51] Orla: that's right.
[00:02:52] Sam: a lifestyle point of view, there's
[00:02:53] Orla: And do we I guess it wasn't until we then started living here that we realised just what a gold mine that was. And that's been a big factor in us probably putting a halt on leaving, to be honest.
Yeah, so didn't want to do the estate living. Wanted to be close to the beach. Didn't bother us that it was a small block. we had the outlook to the park, we very much saw ourselves sitting on the balcony, watching the sunset, drinking a, you know, um, you know, that's, that's what we wanted to do.
And we wanted to travel and
when I turned 40 we found out that we were pregnant And look, that was no issue either. Had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. And then we started, living in this house as a family
now
with a baby and those first couple of months, no problems because they're young, they're in the
bedroom
with you. So we've got two bedrooms downstairs, and our master is upstairs. He moved down to the bedroom downstairs
[00:03:52] Sam: Mm-Hmm. and then we were still sleeping upstairs. And I was having to go downstairs during the night to feed, and, I mean, you've seen our staircase.
[00:04:01] Orla: We certainly didn't build with kids in mind it's like a death trap. So we ended up having to move downstairs, Pete and I, because it was just becoming too dangerous. During the night to go up and down and and you're into them so much when they're that little as you know. So we moved downstairs. And I think that's when it started to really gripe me, here we were, we couldn't even be in our own bedroom. And I felt like I was almost a guest in my own house, and I knew that it was only for a phase, but we started thinking, all right, what does this mean for us moving forward?
We want a family to be around. Family is so important for us and we want him to grow up with all of his cousins around and all of his aunties and uncles and his extended family. So yeah, this home, we've started to realize this home doesn't really allow us to do that. So that was kind of, I guess where the seed started getting planted as to what are we going to do here? How is this now going to work for us? moving forward. And then as our little man started growing into a toddler, there was a few factors that happened all at the same time, which brought us to you.
We got in touch with you, came around and that conversation that we had that day was so great in so many ways.
One, because you're so brutally honest and you just say it how it is and that, that was great for us. there were things that you, Pointed out that day that we came away with and we thought yeah shit. We didn't even really think of
that
You drawn up some plans of what it would You Like that area, if we were to reno and open that up and do a build like an extension, You priced up, how much that was going to cost so coming away from that We we had a few options there
Bang for buck, we thought to ourselves, geez, do we really want to go and spend three, four hundred grand to give us basically a place to put a dining table?
that's a bit ridiculous. I think it really just, yeah, we're not
going to be able to do that. So stop thinking about it, stop letting it impact how we live. Let's just move forward from that. So then we progressed with your dining table, the, the island bench idea.
[00:06:21] Sam: So jumping into explain what we're talking about here. So open plan living. And lots of space on one half of the room where the kitchen was and the other side was the lounge and dining and they were squished in there were really tight. And I said, look, what do you guys want to do here? Do you want to. Do you like the island bench?
You've got a tiny island bench at the moment. I think I had two, maybe three stores on it. It's really small. And the spot it was in, I was pointing out to them that. Kind of inhibited a lot of the flow of the space. And they love the island bench. And then, because we weren't doing the larger innovation anymore.
I said, well, you can upgrade the kitchen. And you can put in a larger island bench that can effectively double as a big dining table. So I said, as soon as you take that, Existing Ireland out. You you'll see really quickly how the space is different. So let's go back to the show. And here what happens next?
[00:07:17] Orla: We had a guy come and take the island bench out, and then it was really interesting what happened from there.
I'd gone out to Wanneroo, picked out the marble that we were going to have, it was all systems go,
had the cabinetry
drawn up, and then the guy came to remove the existing island bench.
And we were on a camping table and chairs. I think it was two weeks. And during that two weeks, something very interesting happened.
Pete and I, were sitting more at the table together. And having meals together than we had ever had. And we started having these conversations around this makeshift table. That was where the island bench used to be. And it seems silly because we had stools that were up against the island bench, I don't know why it was different,
but it
was.
So I basically said to Pete, I, I don't think I want to replace. That with a big island bench and I was really enjoying the kind of openness of the space and so Yeah, we went and bought a table and I said to pete Look, let's give this a go for a while and see how it feels if it's something later on down the line we think We're we're going to go ahead with the island bench then we can just sell the table and away we go, but we haven't looked back from it and the amount of meals that we have here, as a family now with the little guy, we sit at the dinner table every night, we sit and have breakfast together on the weekends when people come over now. It's become a real sort of gathering um, you know, it's eight, it's an eight seater and it's, it just feels, I don't feel like it has closed off the, I don't know, it's some, somehow it's just, it still has that openness.
[00:09:03] Sam: The space feels a lot bigger now with the, with the changes.
[00:09:07] Orla: So we went from, okay. Yep. Possibly knocking out half, half the house and building extension to remove the island bench to, yeah, let's just pause and
take a
[00:09:18] Sam: and I guess for people who are listening in terms of why it would be so expensive for the extension that you were talking about upstairs, it comes back down to the block size,
so
building on a small block
And there's nothing either side, it's quite easy because you can just build on the, on the neighboring properties. But when it's in between two properties, it's a little bit more complicated. There's got to be a bit of overhand brickwork happening for the walls.
And, but then when it's an existing house and it's at the back of the house, there's a crane for everything. There's where do you store the materials? The, uh, it's a, it's a re roof, it's new air conditioning system. You inevitably end up doing a whole lot more on areas. Where you're not prioritising the money, and it was a series of those sorts of conversations of what that's going to cost, in the range of this and that, and that's where it sort of added up, and I think that's what helped you guys work out.
[00:10:08] Orla: Yeah and I think as well, you sayingTo us ok, well if you did have that space and you were going to put a dining table there you know you’ve still got a main bedroom that’s going
to open out to this dining area and
Yep. Yep. And,
Yeah, I think it just made us really pause. I think it was more my hangups and when it was actually pointed out to me, well, hang on a second, even if you did have that extra space. It's still not going to give you what you're desiring, like that, that outcome that you're talking about. And I think that's what you said to me that day, what are you wanting out of this? And I guess it really made me stand and go, okay, well, this is what I want. I want to be able to entertain family.
I want people, I want to be able to have, my family here. And, you were, as I said, like that great honesty saying, well, You're still going to have like your bedroom's going to open off into the space like it's still going to do. You realize that? And it was then that I kind of thought, right, well actually
no, that's not gonna, that's not gonna
work for for us.
[00:11:11] Sam: Created a bunch
of other compromises
[00:11:13] Orla: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:11:14] Sam: Yeah. And then from there, so you island bench out, you're enjoying that process and decided not to, not to renovate, and what was the next thing that happened?
[00:11:25] Orla: A lot, a whole different sort of topic of conversations came up with Pete and I about, okay, well, here we are complaining about not having enough space, not this, not that, and all the rest of it. And then when I actually started to sort of have these conversations with other family members around memy sister Shauna was living in Melbourne at the time.
They raised a child in a one bedroom apartment. Like it was It was the size of our, like our master bedroom, the whole entire apartment. And then my sister in law is Swedish and her family are in Stockholm. And I guess those two females and their stories of, how they were living and Johanna, how she was brought up.
began to realize that we don't need to have this four by two house. What am I doing here? I'm silly. these are first world problems I've got and we could completely make this house work for us. And I guess so my mindset changed in terms of instead of seeing this place for the faults and the faults I thought it
had, I really started seeing it for. The, the great things about it in terms of, then I, I had a baby where I didn't have to get in the car. I could walk everywhere, put him in the pram. And now that he's gotten a bit older, like we just go across the road to the park when he's had enough time inside. So we don't need to have this huge house when our locality is so amazing.
yeah, this is, this is pretty magic where we are. We really hit a gold mine when we built here. The area's just exploded. I love not being able to, like I don't, I'm not chained to my car. I love that we can head out, love that we're close to our family and friends.
I love that the beach is right there. Like our whole lifestyle is centered around being here.
In, in terms of that, that right home to get you to move, did you go through a process where you said, well, it has to be, it has to be in this kind of area, it has to be this sort of
[00:13:37] Sam: size or layout or what, what was that like?
[00:13:39] Orla: So, We sat down and, said to each other, right, what do we want out of a home? why, why are we looking to move? And a big one was, right, we want more space to be able to entertain family. I mean, when we're all together, there's 19 of us and that's just my siblings, immediate siblings, my parents and my nieces and nephews. So we wanted a space where we can have those big family barbecues. Because we want a little guy to be like, that's what we want for him growing up.
[00:14:05] Sam: And then, so you worked out what it would look like. Were you seeing homes that ticked those boxes when you were looking at buying homes?
[00:14:12] Orla: Mhm. Definitely. But we were just missing out.
[00:14:16] Sam: Yeah, I've, we've felt that that process has been really frustrating over the last year and I, I would say actually to the point where it's really stopped us now, we just need a break from the disappointment and the way it's being handled at the moment.
[00:14:32] Orla: By, I mean, don't get me wrong, like we've got two real estate agents in our area that are amazing.
but you don't, there's no there's no negotiations. You basically, the offer you put on the table now these days has to be your strongest offer.
They don't come back to you anymore.
And then thinking back to if you went ahead with the renovation. Here what do you think that that would've looked like?
Yeah, I guess, I don't think I realised until we spoke to you that day, the extent of what needed to be done. I just thought, Oh yeah, they'll lift the roof off and then they'll just, yeah, put up some scaffolding and put down an extra pad to cover that area.
And then, pop a roof back on. I had really no, I was so naive to, what was actually involved in that process. And when you sort of broke it down for us that day, I really, I really thought about it over that next week and thought to myself, Oh, that's just too much and that it's not worth the headache.
it would create. I
And Ria and I have had so many great discussions along her journey
[00:15:38] Sam: Rhea his older sister and recently renovated her own home.
[00:15:43] Orla: in terms of when you're building a pace and you're getting all, the quotes in and and you're thinking, uh, oh God, that's so much money.
And I look back on it now, I don't remember any of the things that we had to stretch for.
I only remember the things that we, we skimped on
[00:16:04] Sam: Yeah.
[00:16:05] Orla: and the regrets there, so it's interesting. And that was one, one bit of advice that I gave Ria during her build when she was like, Oh my God, if we get that though, it's so much money.
And I'm like, but just put the money aside. Do you think it's needed to finish like what you want for the house? Do you think if you don't have that, that you will regret it
[00:16:25] Sam: great question. Will you get the
value from
[00:16:27] Orla: was
[00:16:28] Sam: I was talking
to a builder earlier
today about this exact thing. And what a few of the builders are finding is they're getting more early contractor involvement, particularly in architect led
projects.
when you guys built, you had the benefit of building with a volume builder,
they are going to prioritize spending the money on where you're going to see
it.
Whereas some of the time, the designer might try and make everything look beautiful, but some of those things are going to be low value to you.
You're not going to, appreciate all of those details or it might be a special type of door. But a normal stacking door might
be fine for you. And you
don't realize that the difference could be tens of thousands
of dollars in those decisions. And
without being able to understand the impact of that and have that conversation, it can get away from you.
And then it becomes this huge, this huge bill
[00:17:18] Orla: I guess it worked in our favour that we built with a volume builder. So we were given a book, booklet. Pick out of these five things.
Okay, I'll have that one, thanks. That's going to cost you. These are standard. These are extra. Okay, yep, boom. I'll have
that one, thanks.
it was very, it was a very kind of streamlined process. the build process for us wasn't bad. Like you hear so many horror stories, but it wasn't really,
it wasn't really that bad.
[00:17:46] Sam: I think it still can be a really good process for people. But it depends on the expectations going into it as well.
[00:17:51] Orla: correct. Yeah, absolutely.
[00:17:53] Sam: having the right team.
The right building supervisor. The right salesperson who isn't going to bullshit you the whole way
[00:18:00] Orla: Yeah.
[00:18:01] Sam: The right people in pre start.
[00:18:03] Orla: yeah. had a drafts person at the beginning. So the variations that we made to the place I think we paid five grand to have the luxury of that person kind of customize the plans for us. I mean, like I said before, the only, I regret.
Yeah. Not spending the money on getting floor to ceiling tiles, we skimped downstairs, whereas now those things really bug me.
Andwe got cheap basins because we were like, Oh, it's just the guest, no one's going to say that.
But the things now that I look at and, especially when I walk into our en suite, which, we spent the money on getting floor to ceiling tiles and that, and I'm just like, Oh, it's so much nicer. It does look better. And that was, like that was a couple of
grand. And I look back on that and go, Oh, for goodness sakes.
But for us back then, it was such a stretch. We had already stretched ourselves so
much. Yeah.
And yeah, we wanted other things, so we were kind of like, oh yeah, we'll just skimp on that.
[00:18:59] Sam: There are so many things I would do differently if I was to build again. For instance, the kitchen,
[00:19:04] Orla: in that meeting, there's a talk about functionality, how things are going to work. We've got dead cupboard spaces because nobody told us, Hey, what you've picked or the way your layout of your kitchen isyou're not going to be able to actually use that cupboard. Yeah. So yeah, I mean
building with a volume builder.
they just, yeah. There's not that kind of,
[00:19:26] Sam: kind of I don't think that's just with volume builders.
I think in part it's finding people who, who care can be a
challenge
sometimes, it's a job for
them and they're not going to
think about some of those intricacies. that are going to really frustrate you or make a big
[00:19:43] Orla: difference
[00:19:43] Sam: to you
because it's, I've got five kitchen meetings today where I'm finalizing
kitchen cupboards. I'm
going to say the same sort of three things and
I
might overlook something and how will I know because I don't have a feedback loop that gives me that information. I think there's
a lot of that that
occurs. But it was now from you having gone through those pain points that you're, Well equipped to handle
[00:20:06] Orla: Yeah. And it's good because, like I said to read, I'd take the time, go out and speak to a kitchen
[00:20:12] Sam: Yep.
[00:20:12] Orla: And get them to tell you like where to put your ovens, where to
put your
fridge, that whole kind of make it really user friendly for you.
So
I
guess it's through having these conversations, that you learn from other people's mistakes or, what they thought was really good. Yeah.
[00:20:30] Sam: then. if someone came to you and said um, looking at building a home, what advice could you give me?
[00:20:39] Orla: spend time designing your kitchen properly. Get a real good feel for how that space is going to work. We spent, we spent, whether you like cooking or not, you spend a lot of time in the kitchen. So make sure it works. I would say as well, having a look when you're sort of financing those extra variations, really having that conversation with yourself that, okay, if we stretch ourselves a little bit more to include this,
is it something that if you don't get it, would it bother you later down the line? So yeah, those And that's pretty much it. I mean, in terms of what I would do differently if I had my time over here again, Oh, there's
[00:21:18] Sam: there's,
[00:21:20] Orla: You know, I wouldn't have put a bedroom upstairs. I would have just made this all entertainment upstairs and I would have just had two bedrooms
downstairs,
I remember vividly having the conversation with the home, sales guy and he was like, nah, nah, you have to build a three by two.
You've got to think of resale value and. I think back to that conversation and I think to now we, how a two by two in South Frio would still like, it would sell like
[00:21:51] Sam: that. Yep. There's, that happens a lot
They steer
everyone towards four by twos. You've got a huge market of people who. don't want to follow the market of downsizing, but they want to move out of the family four by two and they want to move into a house which is, a two by two, but they don't want to feel like they're sacrificing their living
space.
I would just, yeah, build the house for you. Don't worry about resale down the end of the line, I mean within reason.
What's really clear to me, when I hear you talking, is how you've worked out together between Pete and you, and I guess as a family, what those real
priorities are,
and now that's guiding your decisions, as opposed to it started out feeling a bit more reactive, and it was, this isn't working, let's try and solve it, but you weren't looking at the big picture.
Yeah, definitely.
And
I think, if you're, if you're thinking to yourself, well
[00:22:56] Orla: And I think, if you're, if you're thinking to yourself, well, this isn't working, but looking back on that now, I was so emotionally driven. And I think it's important at times like that to take that stand back and, really sort of ask yourself the questions. Why, why isn't this working for me now?
because I remember I was like, get Sam over here and we need to talk about this. We need to do this renovation. I was like a mad woman on a mission.
And I mean, there was a lot of hormones going on there as well, which were probably, was probably the, the real core of what was happening,
But
but yeah, as I said I'm, I'm really starting now to just enjoy this house again, and realizing that there are a lot of families raised in homes that are much smaller than this, And, not having a huge house allows me to spend more time with my son and not cleaning. It allows us as a family on the weekend to have that quality time together because we're not maintaining a huge property. And I'm just
really
okay with that now. And, our community around here is Oh, it's fantastic. Yeah, it really is. we know all the neighbours, we're on a street chat.
We have drinks in the park every Sunday afternoon. Yeah.
[00:24:15] Sam: Going back to what you just said about it was so emotional before, do you know what what do you think that was?
You said hormones, but was there, was there something that was really bugging you to make you want to address it straight away?
[00:24:25] Orla: I think there had been so many big changes, I was an older mum, geriatric. No, but we had lived this fantastic life, Pete and I traveled, we did what we wanted, when we wanted, and so all of a sudden this baby came along and, uh, the carpet got pulled out from underneath us.
big time.
So I think a big driving force of that was,I was just frustrated at the space. I was frustrated that our lives had changed so much because of this little individual. And yeah, I think it was more, when I look back on it now, it was more that, and it wasn't until I took myself out of that emotionally driven situation that I was able to actually say, well, hang on a second, it's, it's not as bad as what you're making out.
It's, your place is completely livable. You just had to make some changes and that, that's okay. And yeah, and it's funny because we were even talking last night about, okay right,We'll get rid of that lounge and because it's like these wasted spaces that we just don't use because you were told to factor in that extra.
You know, TV room, like I just, yeah, build the house that you want to build. Yeah. It's my final kind of, yeah, don't get swayed by
trends,
just do what you want to do and think, really think when you're going into a project about how you live.
[00:25:51] Sam: Yes.
[00:25:52] Orla: And you build then for how you live, not for other people, not for what you're seeing on bloody
or the latest mudroom, or the scullery and like just build for what, how you live,
[00:26:06] Sam: There's an element of the right house can help your routine.
[00:26:11] Orla: A hundred percent.
[00:26:13] Sam: It complements what you do. And, you're starting every day and finishing every day at your house. So it should be there to help you through those things so that you're fully charged to have a good day. And a
lot of people don't think about a house like that.
[00:26:26] Orla: Do
And yeah, like I said, which brought us back to that whole sort of like moment where we were right. Yeah. We go, we go to over a million dollars in
[00:26:37] Sam: yeah,
[00:26:38] Orla: That means I have to go back to work full time eventually. Whereas now I have the luxury of being part time and just looking after our little guy and getting him through these really important years.
And yeah, and then we just become like this groundhog day of, nine to five, Monday to Friday, two days off as a family on the weekend
and
[00:26:59] Sam: the weekend. Yep. Hustle,
[00:27:01] Orla: Yeah, what for more, for more space, more materialistic things,
[00:27:05] Sam: So at the end of the day, I think it's been a really great journey for us, that it's made us realise how lucky we are.
are. Yep.
[00:27:14] Orla: And how we really need to stop and smell the roses. And it's all good having, these future plans and, looking ahead and going, right, we want these goals in life because, I mean, you need purpose, you need something to work towards.
Yeah, really taking that time just to really appreciate what you do have and, Yeah, what's important.
[00:27:32] Sam: And then are you going to get a bigger dining table in here so you can get 19 people in here? Ha, ha, ha.
[00:27:38] Orla: No and Ria's gonna kill me when I'm
saying this, but
I just feel now that Ria and Chris have built the
[00:27:43] Sam: To entertain all and
[00:27:46] Orla: entertain all the nephs and we'll just all
go there. Um,
How
Thanks for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast. Please head to wherever you listen to your podcast and write the show because that's going to help it grow and reach more people. Some key takeaways for me from today's episode. Relate to that project narrative and making sure that you understand the core reasons. That you're doing it and you've spoken through them in depth and you're happy with them.
[00:28:17] Sam: And if. They're not right. Or if anything changes. You've got the ability to reassess that. And, and tweakin. There's also a big emphasis on just appreciating what you do. I have sometimes the best home is the one you've already got. So take time to appreciate what works. Uh, about that home and. That can be a lot of ways where you can make small adjustments to make big improvements. And that comes back down to.
The architecture that surrounds you.
Yo your home. It has to be impact on, on how you operate in. The space. You get up in the morning, you start your day that you end your day. There. Being clever with. How you renovate or how you build, or even how you furnish a room. And pipe, the walls makes a big impact on your mental health and your wellbeing.
So considering these hoes. Parts of your journey can, can make a really big difference.
If you want to submit your build for the podcast, head on over to Australian build stories.com. And fill out the context for. Thanks and see you next time.
